Advice and Help During the Breakup of Your Relationship

When I Broke Up with My Boyfriend – It Was the Worst Breakup Ever


broke up with my boyfriend

When I Broke Up with My Boyfriend – It Was the Worst Breakup Ever
By Tigress Luv, author of The Counterfeit Heart: Living With, Loving and Leaving a Narcissist

 

When I Broke Up with My Boyfriend – It Was the Worst Breakup Ever


I broke up with my boyfriend. Yes, it was the worst breakup ever. Here's why.


First off, let me say that I have had many breakups in my life. Hey, when you reach my age, breakups are something you have experienced plenty of.

 

But my worst breakup ever was this last one - when I broke up with my boyfriend. Even though I was the one that wanted and initiated the breakup.

The reason why it was the worst breakup ever was because my boyfriend was a narcissist.


Let me tell you, a ‘narcissist' isn't just someone who has an over-inflated ego, as many believe. This is an actual disorder that breaks the heart of every single person it touches.

 

You would have to understand narcissism to get the full scope. However, let me tell you, take a sociopathic/psychopathic approach to love and that gives you the definition of narcissist.


I wasted eight years of my life and money in the six digits on a narcissist. I bought him everything he wanted. I bought into his stories. He cleverly, deviously, and deceptively turned me ‘Stockholm Syndrome-like' (positive attachment and feelings by the victim toward the abuser/controller). I cared for him. Listened to his lies. Believed his abusive words about me (and about everybody else). AND I EVEN FELT SORRY FOR HIM.


Every single thing we did, we talked about, or we planned was always centered on or around him. I was invisible for those eight years. Nothing was ever about me. Let me repeat that in case it didn't sink in. I was... nothing.


When I broke up with my boyfriend (finally), my world had already fallen apart. By the end of those eight years, I had lost my self-esteem, my money, my friends, my business, and my family. I was a shy, insecure, mentally and emotionally beaten, sick and angry woman. And he just walked away and instantly became engaged to someone else as if nothing had happened. It was the worst breakup ever – for me. To him, it was nothing. It was like after abusing me for eight years, after taking advantage of me for eight years, after driving me insane for eight years he just walked away as if the relationship – and I – had never happened.


He walked away and started a new life with another woman (whom I am sure he will also suck dry). He walked away as if I/WE never existed. He didn't care. He didn't cry. He felt no regret, nor remorse. And most of all he didn't feel sorry for the pain he caused, the debt he created, or the suffering he put the children and I through.

 

But, that's what narcissists do. They are sociopathic Romeos. They feel nothing. They care about no one. Love is a mechanical motion they have programmed themselves to perform – not an actual emotion that they feel towards another. Narcissists do not love.


Look at it this way...


You eat a peanut butter sandwich because you are hungry. You chew it, it tastes good, and it fills your craving and satisfies your hunger.

And while you are eating it, it is the best peanut butter sandwich in the world! BUT... but when you are done with it, you don't have remorse over the absence of it. You don't feel sad or sorry for having devoured it. You don't miss it in your life now that it is gone. You don't feel guilty for using it in your desire to selfishly fulfill your own hunger.


Truth is, you ate it, it filled you up for now, and it no longer exists. You don't think about it at all. It ceases to be a valid entity to you. And when your hunger returns you will feed it with something else, not thinking once about the desecrated peanut butter sandwich you devoured earlier.

 

That, my dear, is how a narcissist loves. You mean nothing to the narcissist. He will never have regret, remorse, or pain over losing you. It's as if you never existed. And this is why it is the worst breakup ever, because your ex boyfriend doesn't care at all. He feels nothing. He doesn't miss you, he doesn't have regrets, he doesn't try to save things. He just walks away and moves on to a new supplier.


You are hereby dismissed.


And that is what happened to me when I broke up with my boyfriend. *POOF* I magically disappeared to him. *POOF* I was gone. And *POOF* all his leftover baggage (bills, dogs, kids, mortgages, broken cars) all disappeared (translation: dumped on me).


What a man.


To read more of my articles about breaking up with a narcissist – your worst breakup ever – or to read my eBook and the story about my own breakup, visit my site, Breaking Up With Your Narcissist.

 

(For more advice on recovering from the worst breakup ever, you should read, How to Get Over a Breakup)

 

 

AFTERSHOCK: The Magazine for Moving On From a Narcissist. Read the magazine online now....totally 100% FREE!

 

 

BACK TO:
Advice on Breakups

Relationship Insight
When Things Go Wrong