Advice and Help During the Breakup of Your Relationship

Venting Emotional Pain

emotional outVenting Emotional Pain
By Tigress Luv,


When people go through difficult times that are unavoidable -- and irreparable -- it can be very emotionally hard on them. Emotional difficulty usually is an upset that is expressed by people in one of three ways.


METHOD ONE: One method of handling an emotional upset is that some individuals can ‘bottle things up’. This method is very unhealthy and leads to other means of 'emptying' their pain and purging it from their soul. Such methods of escaping the emotional pain in this method include emotional breakdown and depression, alcohol, drugs or a reckless lifestyle.


METHOD TWO: The second path many people take is to ‘display’ their discontentment. This is usually the method most often used and expressed by emotionally healthy people going through an extreme emotional upset. They can cry uncontrollably, whine, complain, or become irritable and snappy – just venting in general. When we were younger, we called them temper tantrums. We would scream loudly and uncontrollably, stomping our feet and crazily demanding attention, but as we aged we toned it down just a little. We learned to have 'temper tantrums' in less obnoxious ways, such as slamming a door, yelling at inanimate objects, cursing or using foul language, telling people to ‘shut up’ or to leave us alone, or even punching our pillows. We are venting our upset and releasing some steam, purging the pain from our soul. Although the ‘emotional venter’ is not ‘focusing’ on any one person, being around somebody when they are ‘purging’ this way can be very disconcerting, especially if one has codependent tendencies to begin with.


METHOD THREE: The third way...the way used by most to attack others, point the finger at someone else, demean, insult, degrade, project their shortcomings onto someone else, demonize, criticize, name call, gossip about or deprecate another with the main goal of making the other person hurt and feel bad about 'who they are'. The object is that one can lessen their own pain by causing it in others. Ahem, who among us hasn’t been the victim of an insult muttered by this fool’s lips?


One lesson here is that if you are using Method Two to vent, and you are with a narcissist, be prepared for a slam dunk of your good name and self-esteem, because the narcissist comes back at you with all insults fully loaded and ready to fire at you like a high-tech weapon.

Regardless of what method you use, or even whether or not you are doing the venting or you are the victim of someone else’s vent, try to remember that all things shall pass. Odds are things will be back to normal by morning, unless, of course, you are with a narcissist! In which case, tomorrow will also be hell.

For more articles on narcissism please review our other articles here at When Things Go Wrong, or please check out my site, Breaking Up With Your Narcissist. You will find a link to the articles near the bottom of the main page.


For help in recovering please read my new Daily Breakup Inspirations for those Recovering from a Narcissist

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