Advice and Help During the Break Up of Your Relationship
Is It Time To Let Go?
Time to Let Him Go: When to Call It Off with Your Man
By Cheryl-Anne Jenkinson
We've all had a relationship that seems to have drawn to a close long before we've actually called it off.
Sometimes there's real possibility that the rapport can be re-gained and the floundering relationship fixed before it's become terminal, but there are occasions when we need to take off those rose-tinted spectacles and acknowledge that a man's heart is no longer in it, and it won't ever work. So, what are the vital signs that it's time to let him go?
Here are ten tips to help you recognize when it may be time to call it quits:
- You've tried, tried and tried again, but despite repeated attempts to stay together, the same old issue keeps resurfacing, causing yet another break-up just like last time. It's either time to agree on seeking external counseling as a couple, or admit that this issue has finally proved too big for the both of you. It doesn't matter how good it feels at the times when it does work; you have to realize there's no stability in constant arguments.
- Your partner keeps changing his Facebook or social network site status from ‘in a relationship' to ‘single' whenever there's upset or discord. This is a sure sign that this man isn't in it for the long haul but will disappear as soon as things are rocky.
- You know that your partner is using dating websites but he says he's ‘only interested in friendships' because he doesn't know many people in the area. Get real: dating sites are for dating, and no matter how he presents to you what he's looking for, you can be sure that he's only trying to meet women and that all of the women he's chatting to are not seeking friendship by using that site. Invariably, they won't know he has a girlfriend.
- He's stopped calling and texting you without prompting, where he used to be proactive and was always dropping you messages throughout the day. You feel as if he only ever texts you when you've sent him a prior message, and you find it's taking longer and longer for his replies to come in. Truth is that these days, he's relishing his space far more than he's relishing contact with you.
- He's stopped saying thank you for the gestures of love and affection that you show him. If you buy him a gift, he doesn't seem appreciative and in some cases even seems embarrassed or uncomfortable. These can be signs that he wants to call it a day and feels guilty that you're still emotionally -- and financially -- investing in him.
- He doesn't compliment you anymore, even when you make an effort to wear the clothes he always said he likes to see you in, or when you make a special gesture to prepare his favorite dish. He's no longer noticing that you're going out of your way to keep his attention.
- Where he used to be upset if you didn't both go to bed at the same time, he now disappears earlier and earlier -- or later and later, avoiding you -- and falls right off to sleep. He doesn't seem to miss the opportunities for late-night or early-morning intimacy that you both used to love so much.
- He's no longer instigating daytime sex, and would rather sit glued to his laptop than drag you upstairs and tear off all your clothes.
- He's started criticizing your friends and family, when he used to delight in going to see them and sharing in your world at any opportunity. Nowadays, it seems that your family isn't up to his standards and he no longer wants to come along when you visit the people who're important to you.
- You ask him for small favors and he doesn't comply, or responds moodily even if he does agree to it. For example you ask to borrow his car because it fits more shopping in the trunk than yours does, but it's clear he's making excuses for why you can't borrow it. The bottom line is, he's no longer going to make an effort for you or try to please you, because he no longer sees you in his future.
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