Advice and Help During the Breakup of Your Relationship

How to Stop a Divorce

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How to Stop the Divorce Before It Starts

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The divorce statistics in the United States are staggering.  According to some sources, 50% of first marriages now end in divorce.  And, the odds are even more against staying married the second time around.  No one plans on standing in front of friends and family, vowing to love one another throughout their lives, with the intention of getting a divorce.  Chances are, though, that the two of you will hit a rough patch in your marriage and one may start talking about leaving.  So, how do stop your marriage problems from spiraling out of control and escalating?  How do you stop the divorce?


Don't Give Your Spouse the Silent Treatment 


Fights are inevitable.  You live in the same house; you'll eventually get on one another's nerves.  There are bills to pay, meals to prepare, yard work to do, children to tend to – there will be a million things to fight about over the course of your marriage.  But, don't give your spouse the silent treatment thinking that the disagreement will not get worse if you say nothing at all.  It may be better to shut your mouth while in the heat of anger but, after a short cooling-off period, you should go to your spouse and try to work your problem out constructively.  Explain to your spouse, rationally and calmly, why you are angry and, more importantly, you should give your spouse a chance to tell his or her side of the story.  If you don't express your feelings to your spouse, how will he or she know what and how you are feeling?  Your spouse cannot read your mind.


Tell Your Spouse You're Sorry


It's amazing what those two little words, I'm sorry, can mean to a person.  Those words can defuse anger and a volatile situation faster than any other words in the English language.  Those words can heal the soul of a wounded spouse even better than the three words we all want to hear – I love you.   Giving your spouse a sincere "I'm sorry" makes up for a lot of hard feelings a fight causes. An insincere apology can only make it worse because your spouse will see right through the lie.  But, sometimes, a white lie doesn't hurt.  Even if you don't think you're wrong, you probably are in some way or another, so saying you're sorry will help mend the hurt feelings of someone you love.  It's better to hold on to your mate than hold on to your pride.


Have Sex Even When You Don't Feel Like It


Lack of sexual intimacy is a major concern in any marriage.  If you continually refuse to have sex with your spouse, the damage to your marriage can become insurmountable.  Your spouse may even start looking in other directions to satisfy sexual urges, even though he or she may still love you.  You may think you're too tired from work, children, or household chores, but save some time in your week for the one you promised to love and honor for the rest of your life.  You may think you're too weary but, one hour set aside each week just for the two of you, will make a huge difference in both of your lives.  Even if you're both too tired, just the simple act of showing that you care by holding hands or a touch or just saying "I love you" can mean so much to the one you love. You cannot take the intimacy out of a marriage and expect the marriage to work.


Don't Put Your Spouse Down


When you hear someone put you down continually, you begin to believe it yourself.  You lose your self-respect.  You lose respect for that person.  And, if it's a spouse putting you down, you lose the love you had for him or her.  Telling your spouse that he or she is a liar or no-good or fat or lazy is a huge no-no.  The anger and resentment that builds up because of constant put-downs will destroy a marriage. Respect for one another is vital, if you want to keep your marriage intact.
Marriage is a hard institution to maintain and your years together will not always go smoothly.  You both have to give and take, sometimes giving more than taking.  You have to talk over your disagreements.  You need to show your spouse you love him or her every day.  Above all, mutual respect and love are the keys to stop the divorce before it starts.


Continue on to save your relationship or mend your broken heart.

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