Advice and Help During the Breakup of Your Relationship

Maintaining a Relationship After Break-up

break up habitMaintaining a Relationship After Break-up


If you’ve been heartbroken recently and still would like to maintain your relationship after break-up, do not fear being a unique case. It has been well established in psychological literature that the best way to mend a relationship after break-up is to find, and remember, the passionate aspects of life that you were involved in before the relationship ever happened. This requires one to go through a withdrawal period from the other person, and the best solution to make that period as easy as possible is to break all contact for about a month.


Follow the eight ways I’ve listed to truly reconnecting well with someone after a breakup.


  1. Take a break – if you truly desire to re-establish a new kind of relationship with this individual, both parties should take at least a month to spend with distance from one another. Possible meetings and sightings will only trigger temptations that are difficult to recover from.

  2. Commit to relinquishing negative emotions – during your month away from the other person, your goal should not be to return to the broken relationship. Your aim should be on releasing as much of the emotional attachment to the other as possible. The next few tips will address that.

  3. Socialize with other people – this is a great way to get a new perspective on life. Hanging out with different people offers you support independent of your former spouse and lets you re-establish your social footing.

  4. Work on yourself – in this time of separation, doing work and improving yourself will develop a new form of confidence in you that will attract all sorts of different individuals to you. This will enable you to take your mind off the other person as the feelings for them dissipate.

  5. Keep a journal – writing down your feelings gives you a replacement confidant for the individual. Mending a relationship after break-up is often delayed because of emotional residue. Make sure to write for volume, and don’t worry about quality in these entries—they are for you to witness your slow growth in a difficult time. In a while, you’ll be able to look back and be proud of your progress.

  6. Establish a new form of relationship – be direct. Let the other person know exactly how you feel about the connection between the two of you. If you are aiming for a strictly platonic relationship from now on, don’t be worried to confide this fact with the other person. Better communication always leads to a better understanding in general of another person, and will only make the newly established relationship after break-up that much stronger.

  7. Take it slow – when you first try to mend the new connection, there will certainly be awkward moments. Understand that this is common, and that as you regain comfort with the other person, you’ll start to see the benefits of having them around. Don’t be afraid to say no to any events or people you’re not ready for—this life is yours.

  8. Keep trying – if old feelings come up; understand that it’s a natural progression. You’re going to make mistakes, but if you’ve truly followed this advice, those errors will be far and few in mending your relationship after break-up.



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