Have you been left for another woman? It can happen to any couple. You think you have the perfect relationship and suddenly he’s acting differently. He stops communicating, he spends time away from home and he draws you into arguments for no apparent reason. When the frustration builds to a fever pitch, you confront him. “Is there someone else?” you ask. He replies, “Yes”. In a split second, your world crumbles, you can’t breathe, you feel nauseous and you think you want to die.
You may feel paralyzed by the intensity of the hurt, but taking steps to keep from wallowing in self-pity will help you move past it more quickly. There will be good days and bad. Capitalize on the good ones and minimize the bad ones by following some sound advice from those who have been there.
Meet the emotions head on. Being left for another woman comes with so many uncomfortable emotions. You are about to have the emotional roller coaster ride of your life. You will bounce from hurt to anger to depression in a span of minutes. Don’t allow those feelings to overcome you. Continually tell yourself you are strong and that you will survive.
Hammer those draining emotions into the ground with positive reflections about yourself.
Surround yourself with positive energy friends. You may have the tendency to hibernate as you deal with feelings of shame and inadequacy. This is the time you need to seek out friends and family who are known for their positive outlook on life. The worst thing you can do is saddle up with friends who are unhappy and who have a negative attitude toward men. Misery loves company and you have enough internal misery without bolstering it with others.
Focus on yourself. Now is the time to be selfish and put your needs and priorities in the forefront. Channel energy into your career, physical exercise and whatever else will push you forward in the healing process. But don’t make decisions based on emotion. Spending sprees or radical appearance changes may make things worse rather than better.
Formulate a plan. Don’t wait around to see what he will do. Take action first so you can be in charge of the outcome. Make decisions about living arrangements and hire a lawyer if there will be divorce proceedings. You can also make the decision to try and break up the new couple and win him back.
Use a mediator. If there are lots of assets to be divided, consult with a mediator to help you through the process. Mediators are neutral parties whose goal is to find fair and equitable solutions.
Start over a wiser woman. As painful as the experience of being left for another woman will be, learn something from it. Each time we suffer, we emerge a little bit stronger and a little bit smarter. Take this strength and wisdom and set out on a new course. Make those changes that you have always kept on the back burner waiting for the right time. The time is now.
Learn to forgive. In the beginning, the hurt will be raw. Squelch any thoughts of revenge. Hurting him will not lessen your pain. As you heal, find ways to forgive and move past the anger.
You may always opt to break up their relationship and get him to come back to you, too. There's nothing wrong with going after what you want -- especially when it was yours to begin with. You can learn more about breaking them up and getting him to come back to you at How to Break Up A Couple.
Advice on Breakups
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