Leaving My Narcissistic Husband: All About Leaving a Narcissist
By Tigress Luv, author of Living with, Loving and Leaving a Narcissist.
Leaving My Narcissistic Husband
Leaving a narcissist is not easy. When I was leaving my narcissistic husband, I went through just about every hell imaginable. He moved on in a heartbeat. He hid his assets and stole mine. He tried to turn every one of our friends against me by calling me names and accusing me of all kinds of bad, insane stuff.
When I was leaving my narcissistic husband, I never knew what to expect. He would alter from ostracizing me to stalking me. One minute he would ignore me completely, the next minute he was hiding in my closet when I got home.
Children are another story altogether. Either he will try to trash you and gain complete control over their little minds and file for sole custody, or he will drop them, too, as if they were useless possessions who had worn out their usefulness.
The point is, when leaving a narcissist, you will never know what to expect – other than hell. Expect hell. Narcissists do not take rejection well. The narcissistic husband will do everything in his power to make your life hell as a punishment for rejecting him.
As I was leaving my narcissistic husband, he stated something to the fact of, "go ahead; leave me now that you have gotten what you wanted out of me." I could not believe this! He actually somehow thought I had used him. It never occurred to him that for the eight years we were together I was the only one that worked. I paid all the bills, including two mortgages, 3 vehicle payments, and an insurance policy that averaged $1100 a month. I bought all the food, paid all the utilities, including FULL cable and satellite music just for him. I bought and paid for his cell phone. I bought him a truck. I bought him all his musical instruments and recording equipment (he wanted to be a rock star LOL). All of his clothes were purchased via my wages. I paid for the vacations that he went on almost bi-monthly. I paid for him to have limo rides to concerts and honkytonks. I bought him gifts – expensive gifts – on his birthdays, on holidays … or sometimes just out of love. I bought him a custom-made computer.
Moreover, it was not just possessions and vacations that I gave him. I stood by him when he faked a heart attack. I put up with daily anger and insanity and forgave him for each one of his hundreds of betrayals. I encouraged him when he felt discouraged, and I worshipped his every move. I went above and beyond in bed to please him. I listened to his tales of woe with sympathetic and compassionate ears. I showed pride in any little stupid thing he did, and stood by him if another's actions hurt him.
So what was it that I had allegedly 'taken him for'? It was not sex! I can tell you that! It was not money, he had none. It was not his sweet nature. Ha! Other than faking congeniality in front of total strangers, he was a crab and a depressing person who held onto grudges longer than anybody I have ever known. And let me tell you about pity-pots. Boy, he could sit on his for days on end, while practicing complete snubbing and silent treatment to the person responsible for all the imaginary wrongs committed against him! Yes, I could not think of anything I had used him for or gotten out of him! Not even a gift. Not one present. Not on my birthday, not on Christmas. In fact, he made it a habit to not even come home on days like Christmas, Valentines, etc.
And that is not all…
….Not one time did he encourage me. Not one time did he support any of my battles. Not one time did he hear any of my stories or take an active interest in my life. Not one time, other than his fake beginning days of our relationship, did he show he cared about me or that he loved me. All he gave me was vindictiveness and punishment – and all he was to me was a man that was angry at me each and every day. Always mad. Always calling me names. Always insulting me. Always mean. Mean. Mean.
But, the funny thing is, when I was leaving my narcissistic husband not only did he accuse me of 'using' him but he then told just about everybody who would listen that I was crazy and 'stole his name' (whatever that meant).
So leaving a narcissist is not going to be easy. I hope that you have one of those narcissists that just moves on to another woman, another family, and another life the next morning. For more advice on leaving a narcissistic husband or man, you may read my report, Living with, Loving and Leaving a Narcissist.
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