How to Stop Loving Him
By Tigress Luv, author of How to STOP a Breakup
How Can I Stop Loving Him?
You hurt so much inside, and you want to know how to stop loving him so that the pain will subside a little – and you can start living again.
However, what if I told you that you only hurt – not because you are in love with him – but because you think that you magically have to stop loving him?
That is where most of your pain is coming from. I could tell you how to stop loving him, if it were possible to do so, but it is better if I tell you how to stop hurting from loving him. And, that, my friend, is easier to do once you learn how to accept the fact that you love him, and you probably always will. Even if you could force yourself to stop loving him, it would not help your pain, for your pain is not generated from the love, it is caused from the rejection of your love and from the loss of the hope of a future together.
Like many people, you may not love the ‘man’ as much as you love the idea of that man with you. If you truly did love him for who he is, then you would be happy for him even if he were to find happiness with another woman.
It is okay to love somebody, even if you are not with them. You cannot force yourself not to love. That is why you will never find any real advice that will tell you how to stop loving him. Because it is not possible.
What is possible, however, is to accept that you love him and to also open your heart back up to new love and to new possibilities. Your heart is plenty big enough to love many times over. And if it is ‘true love’ you do feel for him, then you can live without him – as ‘true love’ does not need to be reciprocated. ‘True love’ wishes only the best for the person they love -- even if it is without them.
Be grateful that you have love for someone dear; be grateful that you also have the capacity to love again. Accept that you love him, accept that you are not with him and accept that it is time to wish him well and to move on with your life.
Once you accept that you love him, instead of trying to fight that love, you will feel a huge weight lifted off your heart. It is okay to love someone that you are not with as long as you remember that you can love others, too. Our hearts are large enough to love many times over.
Advice on Breakups
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