Reduce, Reuse, Recycle: The Yo-Yo Ex
Relationships end for a myriad of reasons and more often than not are meant to end. For some people, application of the waste hierarchy to dating has led them to habitual behaviors that are intended to save the planet, not a relationship. As a relationship is reduced and thusly ended, too many people decide to reuse an ex that is without use. The cycle rarely stops. Too many times we go back to our ex, not realizing that the breakup happened for a very good reason.
Throwing out a relationship or an ex doesn't hurt the planet. There is no real need to reuse what no longer has use. Many people take the time to separate paper, plastic and aluminum, but rarely separate themselves from a worn-out relationship. Plagued by feelings of loneliness, people often recycle exes that were thrown out for a reason. Why are so many people so unwilling to break the cycle?
The fear of being alone seems like the worst fate that could befall someone. Recycling exes holds us back from not only growing as individuals, but knowing and enjoying ourselves. Too many times we go back to our ex, simply because we are afraid to be alone.
There is no simple answer as to how to avoid recycling an ex. What is simple is knowing that they should remain in the dating landfill. It's easy to make excuses for yourself or the other person. They've changed, you've changed, and it's different. How often is it actually different?
Examining the reasons for the breakup is the first thing to do before responding to a call, text or email. Get together with a friend who knew you and your ex during the relationship. Create a good and a bad list of the ex. Most people definitely need an outsider's clarity that will recall more than just the roses.
As often as most people give advice, the same people knowingly throw out their own advice when it applies to them. Look at your former relationship as if it is a friend's relationship. What advice would you give them? Perhaps more than reusing or reducing the ex, place them in the landfill for good. Stop going back to an ex that is not good for you.
Focusing on yourself will provide great rewards if you can be honest with yourself. If you have always wanted to drop 15 pounds, learn to speak another language, volunteer, or recycle, do it. Reusing the same relationship with the same issues and frustrations will only keep you from your goals because your focus will be on how to make it work this time. Take the time to rediscover your passions and yourself.
Choose the life you want. You must understand that you can't always choose the people in your life, but you can choose the people that aren't. Familiarity may foster comfort, but trying something or someone new fosters exciting new experiences. Spend time with friends whom you want in your life. It's a much safer bet that they will be around in a year, not your ex. Reconnecting with old friends in new places will renew your spirit, and possibly lead you to a fresh romance as opposed to one that expired long ago.
“Give a hoot, don't pollute!” is a great motto to protect the planet, but is not intended to salvage a former relationship. Letting go is easier said than done, but if you can fight off the urge to recycle an ex yet again, you may find that you can save the planet, or at least yourself.
It's time you stopped going back to your ex and started going forward towards your 'forever-after'.
Advice on Breakups
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