Get Him to Commit to You
By Tigress Luv, author of From Commitment Phobe to "I Do!"
It's hard. You love a man, you envision a future with him … you've invested time, love and probably even money into him, yet you can't get him to commit now.
You have tried everything imaginable to get him to commit to you and get him to commit to a relationship, but you can't.
He is a commitment phobe.
It's funny, but no matter how hard you try to get him to commit, you seem to be just banging your head against the wall. In addition, sometimes you don't even realize that you have become so fixated on getting him to commit that it has overshadowed your love for him. The commitment, not him, seems to be the goal and the focus of your every move.
And, therein lays the problem. You have become overly attached to the issue and trying to solve it. So attached that you have forgotten the reason why you want to get him to commit to you – and to get him to commit now – to begin with.
One of the major mistakes you make when trying to get him to commit to you is by believing that you need the commitment. We get more in their face at a time when we should be backing off a little. I know all about commitment phobes – I've written many articles about them, I've written books about them, and I've also lived with – and married – a commitment phobe or two. In addition, I've also written books about detaching from them. I find that 90% or more of the women I talk to tell me about everything that they have tried to get him to commit. My advice? Stop ‘trying'.
The problem with commitment phobes is, while they cannot make a commitment to you, they also cannot make the commitment to a life without you. They want and need you in their life, but they then start to feel suffocated by the relationship.
This creates the push/pull many women feel from their commitment phobe. One week they want you – and they want only you – and the next week they are back-pedaling and you hardly hear from them at all. This is all typical behavior from a commitment phobe.
If you want to get him to commit to you then you must learn how to love without restraints. Translation: you must let him go. Sometimes we call this 'run away until you catch him'. A commitment phobe can commit to you, commit to a relationship – and you can get him to commit now. You just have to learn the secrets.
But, be warned – do you really want to be in a relationship with a man that is flipping out and feeling constricted by your love on a weekly basis?
For more hints and tips, including my secrets, on how to get him to commit to you read my reports. You can find them at http://commitmentphobia.net.
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