What to Do When You Still Have Feelings With Ex
By Tigress Luv, author of The Breakup Eraser
Moving past a broken heart is hard for almost everyone, but it can be especially hard for those of us who still have feelings with the ex. It is okay to still have feelings for your ex, sometimes you just cannot help it and you should not even try, but it is better for you to accept those feelings but start moving forward. Do not cling to the hope or the off chance that you two might end up getting back together again. Follow our six tips below, written specifically for those of us who still have feelings for their ex.
Feelings With Ex: Tip One
Go ahead and cry! Many men and women falsely believe that it is better to hide their hurt and pain than to just let it out and grieve. However, this postpones the healing and even creates more chaos in your life, causing such things as depression, reckless behavior, or worse. It is perfectly okay to cocoon with some sad music and just cry your eyes out in your pillow. If you are like me and have trouble crying, try watching a sad movie to get those cleansing tears flowing. ‘Hashi: A Dog’s Tale’ always works for me! Just remember that your emotions are real, your love is real, and grieving is part of the process you need to go through on your road to letting go of someone you care deeply about.
When You Still Have Feelings for the Ex: Tip Two
FRIENDS & FAMILY
Turn to those who love you for support and encouragement. The true friends in our life love and care about us, and have probably been exactly where you are a time or two, themselves. Confide in the people you trust and watch the magic of their wisdom help you through the breakup. However, remember, there comes a point when your friends and family may tire of your wailing about your breakup. Do not expect miracles from them. While your life may have just been dumped upside down, theirs has not. There may be times when you might feel better talking anonymously on a breakup support forum with others who have been through, or are going through, a breakup, too. Relating to those in the same situation may help you gain some insights and inspirations. We have a wonderful breakup support forum at our Breakup Support Community. (And, when you join us, you get ALL our breakup ebooks and reports!).
Still Have Feelings for My Ex: Tip Three
GET YOUR ARSE OUT THAT DOOR
Now, we are not telling you to become a social butterfly, but we do not want you to encase your front door in cement, either! Get out, go for a walk, a ride, have drinks with your friends after work, join a club or sport league. Just force yourself to wear a smile and do something socially. Take up a friend's offer to go for dinner, or shopping, or to a concert or a movie. Visit an antiques mall or go get your hair done. It will help uplift your spirits just to be in a different environment. Now, we are not saying to not grieve, or to bypass your grief. Of course, you need to give yourself time to grieve, yes, but also start making small changes to your daily routine. This could mean simply stopping off for a drink with a co-worker after work instead of going straight home to your comfy cocoon and your embracing grief.
When You Still Have Feelings for Your Ex: Tip Four
EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS & YOURSELF
Grow! It is one of the best things we get out of our breakups – the opportunity to grow. Enroll in a class or workshop, join a church group or even join a league (pool, darts, etc.). This is now YOU time. When you were in your relationship you probably were focused more on your partner's needs, wants, desires, and interests, than you were on your own. (We sometimes forget ourselves in our relationships.) But now you can focus on YOU and not feel guilty or neglectful. You can find some groups or classes by looking Online or in the community newspaper. There are always new things to try, and you can always quit if it is not your cup of tea. Nothing is carved in stone.
Having Feelings for the Ex: Tip Five
Get physical! I have walked off many a broken heart, and you can too! Go to the gym or get in on a workout class. If you take care of yourself, it will increase your confidence and mood. Check your local gym and find out about drop in rates. See what kinds of new workout classes are offered. Sign up for something that you are genuinely interested in and stick with it. Or, walk or jog like I did. It toned my muscles, gave me shapely legs and a great butt, brought more oxygen to my brain (so I was more levelheaded) and gave me a great looking tan (not for sun-phobes, though).
On the plus side of this is just think how jealous your ex is going to feel when he sees the new hot & improved you!
Have Feelings With Ex: Tip Six
ACCEPT THE LOVE
Do not ever try to fall out of love, or to fight those feelings that you still have for your ex! I have learned that the worse thing someone can do is to try not to love someone. It tends to have the opposite effect. Therefore, for now you should just accept that you love them, and that perhaps you always will. There is nothing wrong with loving someone. Love should not need to be reciprocated or appreciated. Just look up... you will see that there is a lot of love that abounds that is not recognized, appreciated, or reciprocated.
Of course, it is always harder when the breakup was initiated by your ex, and especially hard for those who still have feelings for their ex. Feelings for the ex just do not go away, but they do diminish and get easier and more acceptable with time and understanding. The healing process will begin when you start living your life for you. It is important to focus on the positive things that lay ahead of your new single life. Nobody wants to be dumped, nobody likes to be dumped, and nobody asks to be dumped by someone that they truly have strong feelings for.
To sum it all, accept that you still have feeling for your ex, but still move on with YOU. Staying stagnant in a dead relationship is one of the most miserable places to be.
Article provided to you by Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru. We believe that our very own Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru, has some of the most precisely accurate breakup advice to be found. She writes about getting over a breakup, restoring a broken relationship and living with, loving and leaving a narcissist with the most accurate insight imaginable. It could be because she has been there -- and experienced it all -- herself.
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