Advice and Help During the Breakup of Your Relationship
Seeing the Ex with Someone New
Does Your Ex Have a New Girlfriend or a New Boyfriend? Seeing the Ex with Someone New: When Your Ex Moves On To A New Partner
By Tigress Luv
Borrowed With Permission from Daily Breakup Inspirations
"A new chair may look better, but the old one has already been molded to fit your seat." Tigress Luv
No doubt, breakups can cause an immense loneliness that touches deep down into our very soul. There is a closeness and an intimacy that is taken away from us - one that can only be reached in our romantic relationships. We will never be able to attach in that 'special' way to a friend, family member, pet, or coworker. Only our romantic partner can provide us with that certain 'connection' - that special feeling of being closely connected and intimately intertwined with another human being.
Unfortunately, though, not all romantic relationships work out; they may come to an end. And we are stuck in denial. We are clinging to hope... that thread of a chance that we cling to.
And then the reality of it all sets in when we happen to see our ex-partner with a new love. our world comes to a crashing end when we see our ex with someone new.
I believe that seeing our ex with someone new may be one of the hardest experiences we can go through; it cancels out all those threads of hope that we clung to. When they find someone before us, we - more than likely - may start to see how very lucky we once were. We may then come to an impassable appreciation of something that is now gone to us. Seeing that special person that was once our 'property' moving onto a new lover - and forgetting all about us - is a terribly heart-wrenching experience.
That's because breaking up can leave us with acute feelings of emptiness and loneliness. And when we feel this intensity of loneliness, this severe emptiness - these 'desolate feelings' - the last thing we need to see or hear about is that our ex has moved on - and seems quite happy with their new love. It's here that we may suddenly find ourselves on the wrong side of goodbye. We actually may literally feel sick to our stomach, overcome with rage or just plain wheeling and dizzy with anxiety.
Seeing the ex with someone new can be devastating. We've been sucker-punched right in the heart of the very hope that we adhered to. When we find out that the ex has a new girlfriend or new boyfriend our world may come crumbling down around us.
No matter what the circumstance, learning our ex has seemingly 'forgot about us' and happily moved on can be one of the most crushing parts of our breakups.
We find it hard to swallow our pride, straighten our shoulders and tuck in our chin - and then go up and happily greet them, introducing ourselves to the new love with a classy (albeit faked) smile on our face. But this is exactly what we need to do! Nothing chips away at the nausea more than salvaging our self-esteem and being proud of ourselves for our maturity and strength ... and for the faith we find in the fact that we, too, will find a new love. And a better one, to boot!
Although the situation should be avoided when at all possible, accidental run-ins do happen, or ignorant friends 'mention' the gossip. But remember, no matter how happy our ex looks with their new-found 'rebound' we should know in our heart that at one point or another, and most likely at many points, they have compared the new person to us - and I'll bet it wasn't in the new person's favor.
~~ Today I will remind myself that I deserve to be happy, too. I can move on; I can find a better love. I can find a happiness that will make all others' pale in comparison.
Today I will let go of the feelings that I own anybody or anything: I only own myself. I acknowledge that seeing my ex with another may hurt, but it also may just be for show. My ex - like many other exes before them - may want nothing more than to hang on to their pride by looking like the winner. But by holding my head up high, and looking forward to that greater life and love that awaits me, I can see past the pain of this moment.
Just for today I know that someday soon this will be all just be a faded memory of a love that was not meant to be. And, for that, I will be grateful. Just for today I vow to stop wasting my precious time, life and energy thinking about and worrying about someone who obviously is not thinking about me. ~~
"The very worst part of breaking up is still way better than the best part of staying with someone who is gradually chipping away at your self-esteem and happiness." ~Anonymous (Found Online)
"When caught in the past it's always good to think about all the good memories yet to come. That's the difference between being a bitter person and being a better person." ~Tigress Luv
"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heart beat, or will stay awake to watch you sleep. Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you're just in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends. Who thinks that you're just as pretty without make-up on, one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you...The one who turns to his friends with a smile and says, "She's the one!" ~Found online
Although it hurts to see your ex with a new girlfriend or a new boyfriend, it helps to know that the option is open to you, too. Believe it or not, your ex was NOT the only person for you, no matter what your broken heart tries to convince you. There is always someone better for you out there, and you will find them once you open your heart back up to the possibility of a new love -- and a better love.
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Continue on to mend your broken heart or save your relationship ... or perhaps how to break up the new couple and win him back from her.
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