Losing at love hurts, but we eventually recover, learn from it, and move on.
Unfortunately, there are a few things that we do find hard to let go of and move past ... such as those horrible things that you said to each other. At these times all you can think is 'my ex hurt me so bad' and you can hardly live through the pain.
Bruises disappear, hearts mend, key scratches on the car can be rubbed out and even forgiveness for an infidelity can be found. However, what is the most difficult of all to get over is the intentional degrading of you as a person by someone you love. When your ex hurts you so bad that you can barely breathe.
Insults cast at you by someone you loved and respected can be so devastating that some people actually withdraw from socializing. When someone you thought the world of and valued highly tells you that you are stupid, or your personality stinks or that you are a demanding bore, it hurts. Deeply.
The unfortunate truth is that sometimes one or both parties can become overly offensive in the light of rejection. They may lash out, knowing exactly what to say to hurt you. Because they know your soft spots, they know your weaknesses. They know how to hurt you more than anybody else ever did. And they want to hurt you because human nature tells them that it will lessen their own pain, or enable them to leave you.
Even though you may know why that insulted you, it does not help one bit with healing the pain caused by their words. All you can do is sob, "My ex hurt me so bad", and feel like you will never recover from the pain
Whether there are truth to their words or not, what should be important to remember is that this is an imperfect world. Full of imperfect people. If one had to be perfect to be loved by friends, family, or a partner, then this would be a very lonely planet full of very lonely people – because nobody would be loved. We all have flaws, we all have faults. We all have irritating idiosyncrasies.
Remember, if somebody went to so much trouble to hurt you that usually means that they felt hurt by you or frightened by the situation, themselves. They were only trying to ease their own pain or fears. Too, sometimes when somebody wants to leave a relationship, but still feels a deep love for the person they are leaving, they will intentionally search for flaws in that person. They may even exaggerate or invent flaws that never even existed. They need to do this to find the courage to leave you.
The old adage, 'Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, but Words Will Never Hurt Me' is a hard one to follow, but you can do it once you understand the reasoning – or unreasoning – behind the actions of your partner's cruel words. Even though your ex hurt you so bad, you will recover and, although it is hard to imagine it right now, you will find a truer, better love.
Advice on Breakups
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