Are You Dating a Narcissist?
Are there any signs?
By Tigress Luv, author of The Breakup Eraser
Dating a Narcissist: The Ex Test
You can always tell you're dating a narcissist by giving him a simple 'ex-test'. To do this simply 'listen' to him: Rather, listen intently to how he talks about his ex(es), or how he describes his ex(es).
Here's the truth: women just don't let go of a good man. Even if the relationship didn't work out, she will still remain on friendly terms with a good man. The more emotionally healthy a man is – the more his ex will either be a friend or someone he speaks fondly of. Period.
I have a few exes in my past … forty-year's worth of exes, to be exact. And I'm friends with every single one of them, but two: The abuser and the narcissist. See, narcissists just don't have amicable, friendly splits from their partners. If you asked any of my other exes about me, they would say something nice about me. If you asked the narcissist, however, he would tell you that I was a crazy, psycho, nutcase that exhaled hell-fire and farted Black Widow webs.
If you are dating a man who has told you that his ex – or all of his exes for that matter – is a bitch, or a cheat, or psycho, or bipolar, or spits pea soup, then there is an excellent chance he is a narcissist. Especially if he is NOT friends with even just one of his exes.
The 'ex-test' is a very real sign that you are dating a narcissist. First off, he will come off as wonderful beyond compare! Just so perfect – especially perfect for you. Next, he may compare you favorably to his ex (i.e., you are so wonderful compared to her, why couldn't he have met you first?!); or he may bash his ex(es) to the point where he completely abolishes himself from any wrongdoing or from having any role whatsoever in the ending of his relationships – then yep, you are dating a narcissist.
Of course, if I told you to run you would think I was crazy! Run? Why would you want to run from a man who is so perfect for you? He meets all your requirements. He gets along wonderfully with your family. He is just so Mr. Right. He even loves your cat.
Wrong! This is typical behavior from a narcissist. He will match your wants and needs in a man, and then 'don that costume'. It's all an act. The ugly truth is, if he is enemies with his ex(es), if he is perfect for you, and if he magically matches all your requirements in a man, then, more than likely, you are dating a narcissist.
Besides the 'ex test', there is one more test you can give him. That is the 'truth test' . Find some flaw about him. Tell him he is wrong or incorrect about something, or that he has funny-looking hands, or that he lacks a certain quality or trait, or that he has an annoying habit of _____. If he laughs it off or agrees with you, that's great. If he gets angry, outraged, withdrawn, or verbally attacks you back then RUN! You are for sure dating a narcissist!
Not sure he is a narcissist? Read these 'Stages' of Dating a Narcissist
Will it happen to you? Check out Narcissistic Deception and Narcissist Deceit
Read a poem about the narcissist: The Scarlet 'N'
You may also find even more articles on narcissim at: articles on narcissism here at http://breakingupwithyournarcissist.com/articles_on_narcissism.html
For more advice on narcissistic men, you may read, Living with, Loving and Leaving a Narcissist.
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